I am from the south. I am a redneck. I like fast cars. I like driving cars fast. I like driving fast cars. I like watching other people drive fast cars fast. I dislike watching people drive fast cars fast for five hundred miles in a circle. Sorry. Don't get it. I like to turn the steering wheel the other way, too.
I do appreciate the history of NASCAR, though. The Cliff Notes version is a bunch of moonshiner's egos got the better of them. They met at a track, cranked the wheels to the left, pushed the pedal to the floor and gave out a trophy at the end to the winner (or most sober). Thus turning criminal activity into an organized sport.
I think it would be interesting to apply this start up model to another new sports:
"Drug Mule Packing"
I know 90 pound Asians can shove 1400 hot dogs into their gut in 22 seconds. Perhaps its time to move away from the hot dog eating contests. Maybe we should put a spin on this, buy having "drug mules" have a stuffing contest. For those wondering, a drug mule is someone that carries drugs across borders in various cavities of their body. If you are unfamiliar with the skills required to be a drug mule, its simple. You can either put drugs in a ballon and shove them down your throat, or put drugs in a balloon and shove them up your butt. The sport then would be how many balloonized kilos can you get in your gut or butt? I'm thinking this would be a timed event.
When you say Richard Petty, the world thinks "Winningest Illegal Booze Hauler That Can Drive Faster Than the Other Booze Haulers in a Five Hundred Mile Circle!" The world is ready to find the next champion of a crime-turned-sport. One day we will recognize Ricardo Pequeño as "Winningest Illegal Drug Balloon Swallower That Can Pack More Drug Balloons in His Orifices Than the Other Illegal Drug Balloon Swallowers!" Best of all he doesn't have to do it while driving in a five hundred mile circle!
